I knew it was coming. Last night, my body started aching in that way that warns me a flare is on the horizon. By 2 or 3 a.m., I was wide awake in pain, and I knew today wasn’t going to be good.
I hate always talking about FMF, but if I don’t share it, how will anyone ever understand what it’s like to live this way? It’s been a couple of weeks since my last bad flare, and I’ve been hanging on. But today hit me hard.
I woke up already exhausted, not wanting to move, but life doesn’t stop. My kids still need me. My husband still needs me. Even the dogs need me. I can’t just stop my life — because then FMF wins. But that doesn’t mean I’m not angry, frustrated, and sad.
When I finally got my diagnosis, I thought my life would finally calm down. That it would make sense. That medication would give me relief. But honestly? Some days I feel angrier now than before. I’m on colchicine. I’ve read stories of people on colchicine or Ilaris who barely flare. But I’m still flaring almost every week. It’s not as severe, but it’s still there.
And all I want is to feel normal.
💬 So I want to ask you — if you live with FMF or another chronic illness:
What do you do when you’re flaring? How do you push through the exhaustion and pain? Do you rest, distract yourself, fight through it?
I really want to hear your stories, because sometimes it feels like I’m screaming into the void. If you’re reading this and you get it — please drop a comment. Let’s not feel so alone in this. ❤️
between the flares 
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