When the Dragon Pulls

Some days, I feel like I’m finally getting to a place where I’m feeling better — where the flare is quiet, the pain has eased, and the world feels a little lighter. And then, just like that, the dragon pulls me back in.

Today was one of those days.

We had a football game, and I should’ve been smiling the whole time. The boys played their hearts out and won by a huge amount. But I could barely watch. My eyes have been so sensitive lately — burning, dripping, and aching from even the slightest sun or wind. There’s this jelly-like bubble in one of them that makes everything feel heavy and blurred. It’s exhausting.

I sat there trying to enjoy the game, but instead, I just felt tired. Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes — it’s the deep, body-and-soul exhaustion that comes with FMF. It’s the ache in my elbows and knees, the stinging bumps on my skin, and that invisible weight that makes even happiness feel distant.

I know I have a beautiful family and so much love around me, but sometimes, I still feel alone in this fight. When will it end? When will I get a reprieve?

Still, I’m grateful — for the win, for my boys, and for another day where I’m still standing, even if it’s through tears. Because even when the dragon pulls, I’m still here.

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